Face the Facts

I fought with Hu last night over the Epilepsy. I want him to help me search for the answers on why my brain works this way. He feels there aren't answers we can understand. I called bullshit on that since I do understand a good deal of neuroanatomy and this point. But I think this issue is that when I go looking for answers I look at sites NOT sponsored by the pharmaceutical companies. And that's the first place he looks. After 2 years of being diagnosed he still doesn't have the basic definitions of my seizure types down and when he comes to the doctor with me he doesn't talk. He claims it is because me talking helps the doctor evaluate how I'm doing. I think that's bullshit too. I think he's scared, but lazy. I'm outright asking for him to be more engaged, and he's pushing back because I don't think he really wants to know. He wants that magic drug to fix me. But I isn't there. He's never getting the old me back. I need him to face that fact.

And I have to face the neuro this afternoon. So all in all this isn't a great day.

Organic Buyers Group Haul for this Week 2/20

Green Leaf Lettuce
Tomatoes (2)
Celery
Carrots (GIANT CARROTS)
Brocolli
Golden Beets
Swiss Chard
Watercress
Mushrooms

Blueberries
Oranges (3)
Apples (4)

I'm thinking a roast (or crock pot deal) with the celery, carrots, and mushrooms. That will last many meals. Then we can have grilled fish over the watercress with roasted beet salad. And maybe some chicken with the brocolli (and left over sweet potatoes from this week). Which leaves me with salad veggies and fruit. Oh- and the swiss chard. That is easy to saute or I can throw it in the crock at the end of cooking. I can handle that.

I still have mushrooms, brocolli and sweet potatoes left from last week. So tonight we're having polenta with a mushroom ragu and sauted brocolli. I might use some of the chard in the mushroom sauce (the stems). I listed above what I'll do with the sweet potatoes.

I think I'll pick up some potatoes tomorrow for the crock/roast. And some onions and garlic since we're running low on those (staples in our house).

This is fun- trying to figure out what to make with the items in the box!

I got the answers I needed, not the ones I wanted... mostly

Well, the visit with the neuro got me the answers I needed, but not in the way I had hoped.

1. I'm off the Lyrica (it was making my myoclonic seizures worse and I couldn't get past the spin-dizzies). Instead I'm back on the Topamax at twice the dose I had been on previously. Ha! That's what I had anticipated the doctor doing a month ago- before all the other med changes. The deal- we basically had to push the doctor to even look at my meds. I'm anticipated a drop in appetite (like the last time I was put on Topamax at the lower dose) and I'll be dizzy for about a month (but not like the Lyrica). I'll also have some cognitive issues (aphasia), but I've lived with that on the Topamax for several years now.
2. Other than that he barely paid attention beyond saying that meds changes are like 'fine tuning an engine'. Well, I don't think most cars need a tune up every other week.
3. So- I'm going to look in to going to an epileptologist instead of the current neuro. If he won't take the time to listen to me, then he can't treat me. End of story.