Mar. 11th, 2009

fortunavirilis: (Angry)
So, when I sprained my ankle- it was my right ankle, my driving ankle. For the past week and a half I have been reliant on Hu to drive me to work, everywhere. Mostly he has been good about this. But that is also because I have been willing to get up extra early, to arrive at work anywhere from 7:00am, 6:30am, 7:45am, etc when I would normally not arrive until between 7:30 and 8:00am. He's been picking me up between 5:30 and 6:30. In between he drives 45 minutes to an hour and then works his entire day. I don't think he gets that I don't have a commute, so I work the entire time. I could get another ride home if he tells me by 4:30 that he's running late, but he never has. He also emails me when he leaves Boca to give me a heads up he's on the way.

Today- I hadn't heard from him at 5:20 so I texted asking for an ETA. The response- 'A While, can you get a ride?'. Nope! Everyone here who has offered to drive me has left already since it is after 5:15. In fact, they all checked to see if I needed a ride before I left and I said no. He hasn't responded to my email back to him. So I'm stuck here wondering when he'll show up. And I'm sure he'll be pissed at me (he was last night for passing out when I got home- literally- and not listening to him rant about his bad day). I'm sorry I can't drive myself home. I really would prefer to. But I can't right now. I'd like to drive myself to an orthopedist, but I can't do that either. I need his help whether he likes it or not. And it can't all be on his time around his work schedule.

I can't do everything on his terms just because I'm hurt/sick. He doesn't get to be the boss just because he can drive. Hell no. Yesterday he said this whole experience was proof that we could live with one car. Well, today is proof that we can't. Because I have no control and no freedom with relying on him or other people and he isn't giving me information to even ask for help from others.

No, this isn't working. I need to go to the doctor. I need Hu to communicate with me about things other than work. I need him to understand how much pain I'm in (and yes I've tried to explain it to him)- when I pass out at night when I come home I am in serious pain. I need some control over the driving schedule- my job matters too. I need a break because the physical stress of just going to work and coming home is killing me, but there is too much work to do to not go.

I hurt everywhere right now and trying to take care of the damaged parts is damaging even more of me.

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